Title says it all.
Its 2020 and outside of a few states, 90% of American players are forced to use totally shady, unregulated, rigged-ass poker sites that are run by pieces of shit.
Is there billionaire casino owners that lobby each year to keep online poker illegal? The US legalized sports betting, how the fuck is online poker not within the scope of those federal laws? This country just decriminalized fucking coke, heroin, and meth in the state of Oregon, but I can't sit in my living room and play poker at PartyPoker or Pokerstars??
I see online gaming companies, such as DraftKings, operating fine domestically, in both public operations and US-facing advertisement. I don't understand why its illegal for Americans to play on trust worthy, reliable, US-facing sites.
As you can tell, I am tilted as fuck. I just got another PARTIAL refund from ACR because I was playing against two fucking bots at the same table. They wouldn't even GIVE ME A FULL FUCKING REFUND. Fuck the free world. Fuck everyone. I want the Full Tilt days back... (before black Friday obviously)
Update: Please keep the up/down vote number at 69 ;)
submitted by I yell at my Mom to hurry up as she tries to recreate the pokerstars Team Pro patch on my Run It Once hoodie. She flinches and pricks her finger with the needle.
lol dumb bitch I think to myself as I dunk my tendies into Chik Fil A sauce.
Tonight is my live cash debut. I watched all of Doug's Polker (lol) hands. I read all the UpSwing articles and browse this sub religiously. I would be an online crusher if it weren't rigged and if the rake weren't so high. These live donks won't know what hit them.
I finish my dinner and snatch my hoodie from my Mom. "Have fun playing with your friends," she says as she hugs me. I want to tell her there are no friends at the table. There are only Sharks and Fish and I'm a Mother Fucking Great White. Instead I take the opportunity to remove her debit card from the purse sitting at the table. My $400 bankroll might need a little assistance against the live variance.
I slip on my RIO hoodie over my UpSwing tank top, then finish with a Favorable hat. I check my backpack and find everything I need for the upcoming grind: granola bars, power bank, sunglasses, wireless headphones, 2 big Monsters, and my preflop charts.
I get on the subway (Mom needed the mini van for church) heading to Encore Boston Harbor. I feel all the eyes of the commuters on me. They've never seen a man like me before: 140 LBS all muscle and discipline. I DARE someone try to angle me today at the table. I will fucking delete them from existence.
I finally arrive, and walk through the resort towards the Casino doors. A security guard in a Red Jacket stops me. He points at my bag, "You can't bring that inside."
Immediately my eyes get hot and I try to quickly blink back the tears. I get ready to explain that I have a medical problem and the items in my bag helps reduce sensory overload and high-stress inducing--
"You can't bring those energy drinks inside sir."
"Oh." I take my Monsters out of the side pockets and throw them in the bin. The Security Guard nods, "Welcome to the Encore."
Wow, what an asshole. He gets a little authority and goes on a power trip.
I scan the casino floor for the poker room and find the sign. I take the escalators up and approach the front desk.
"Hi, I'd like to play 3NL."
"I'm sorry, do you mean $1/3 No Limit?" the Manager replies.
I chuckle. These morons have never played online where the real pros are.
"Yeah, that's the same thing as 3NL. It's what we call it online."
"Right. Do you have a card?"
I hand over my Driver's License.
"Uh no, a Red Card. Do you have a Red Card with us?"
I can feel the tears forming again. I told my Mom to write down everything I'd need to play and of course she fucks it up. I need a Red Card to play and she didn't make me one. Can't even fucking trust family.
The Manager sees my eyes water, "It's okay if you don't. We can have one made for you. What are your initials?"
"J. Z." I'm gonna fool this room into thinking Jay Z is here LOL.
"You're all set. It shouldn't be too long. You're number 4 on the list."
"Thank you."
10 minutes later they call me and I sit down. Everyone is drinking except 1 Asian kid with a face mask. The goofy MAWG with a big stack (about 300BB effective) welcomes me to the table as I sit down to his left. "Look guys we finally got a pro to teach us how to play."
I can see through his laughter that he's afraid of me. He realized a human PIO solver just got position next on him. Unfortunately for him, I'm not here to give lessons.
I give the Chip Runner $100 (I figured out an unbeatable short stack strategy) and go to the bathroom to go over my preflop charts. When I return, 30 minutes later, my chips are there and I'm ready to play.
First hand, I get JdJh UTG+1. MAWG straddled so I'm first to act. I try to go all in but my hands are shaking and I drop $40 in chips before it goes over the line and Asian pro calls string bet. Bet is $60. It folds to MAWG.
"Why so much?" he asks. I don't say anything. I close my eyes and curse myself for not taking out my sunglasses earlier. "You have Jacks?" he continues. I make a mental note to protect my cards better because clearly this dickhead is peaking at my cards. MAWG folds. EZ game. I slide a Red bird to the dealer as she moves the pot towards me. Our hands touch. She thanks me for the tip and calls me honey. I'm fucking in. Definitely gonna smash that later.
1 hour later I'm in the BB with 6c6d. It limps to me and I check. Flop is 7s6h5s. Check, I check to trap, checks to CO who bets $10. BINGO.
Folds to me, I make it $50, LJ calls, CO jams for $200, I call with my remaining $40, LJ tank calls. LJ covers.
Turn Ad. River Ks. I groan. No one wants to show first and floor is called. CO shows 75o. I think my set of Sixes are good. LJ shows 4d3d. What a fucking slow roll.
I rebuy, this time to the max $300. These guys clearly don't know how to play, and they'll make even more errors deepstacked.
Asian pro opens to $15 from MP. Folds to me on the BU with AdAh. I think about how I'm going to mix. 12.5% raise to $30. 16.8% raise to 45, 25.7% raise to $60, and 52.3% Call. I run an RNG generator in my head and decide on a Call.
Flop J43r. Asian pro Cbets $15. I run RNG again and call.
Turn 9. Asian pro overbets $75. I tank and wince, pretending this is a tough spot. 5 minutes later I turn to the Dealer, "All In." Asian pro snap calls and shows KsKd. I wait.
River 5. I show and Asian pro mucks. Fucking OWNED LOL. Everyone at the table tells me
Nice Hand. They ask why I didn't 3bet. I remind them I could have but I have to balance my calling range. "If I had like Ace Five suited I would have 3bet to like $73 so his MDF is really hard. MDF is Minimum Defense Frequency by the way. I figured it out with PIO which is a Solver. I node lock the scripts and run the trees and it gives me a balanced GTO aggregate."
The table gets quiet now. No one is talking anymore. I try to think of a way to liven up the table. I see the Player across from me order a sandwich and I yell "LOOSEY GOOSEY. LOOSEY GOOSEY.". Everyone looks at me weird.
Fucking normies.
Another hour later I'm UTG with AKs and I open to $15. Asian pro calls in CO. MAWG calls in BB. Flop Q98. Check, I CBet $30 to apply pressure. I have a range advantage and this is a great board for me if I have Aces or Queens. Asian pro and MAWG calls.
Turn Q. Check, I barrel again for $100. I can have AQ and QQ.
Call, Call.
River 5. Check. I'm sweating and I feel like I want to throw up. But I have to continue the story. I rip it in. All In $455.
Asian pro snap folds. EZ. MAWG tanks... and tanks... I can't stop shaking my feet and my mouth is dry. MAWG flips over his cards. KQs. "Is this good?" I give him absolutely nothing. My phone vibrates and I nearly shit myself.
"Fuck it, I call."
I don't show my cards and pretend I didn't hear him.
"I said I call."
I stare at my hands.
The Dealer waves to me "He said call."
I freeze up. I'm in shock.
Asian pro asks for floor, and I sheepishly reveal my cards. AdKd.
MAWG gets out of his seat mad as fuck "Fuck you man. You fucking piece of shit. You slow rolling fuck." I don't know what's going on. Dealer moves my card to the middle and announces "Nut Flush." and mucks MAWG's cards.
BOARD: Qs9h8d Qd 5d
Floor gets security and they remove MAWG from the Casino before I decide to give this fat ass a public beat down.
It takes me 30 minutes to stack my chips. My hands are shaking from the adrenaline. I have $1310 in front of me. I want to leave but I don't want it to look like a hit and run.
I check my phone and see my Mom's text.
I'm going to bed. Good night Sweetie.
Perfect.
"Sorry guys, my girl texted me and she wants me home," I tell the table. No one says anything.
I rack up and cash out. I wake up my Mom and tell her to pick me up.
On the way home I tell my Mom about how I beat a table full of pro players and the sick hand against the Asian pro and MAWG. I open my wallet and show her all the Hundreds. She asks what her debit card is doing there and I lie and say she gave it to me. Old age is getting to her.
All in all, a great session. I got in the streets and mixed it up and came out a Champion. Round 2 is coming soon, and this time I'm coming for the $2/5 shit regs.
submitted by First I'd like to say that I'm invested into it (really nothing big at all, but I need to put this here)
FUN definitely is one of those tokens with huge use case in online gambling industry, it can guarantee fairness in all online casinos if they adopt FunFair, and online gamblers can finally know they are getting fair odds without rigged programs at games like blackjack, roulette, slot machines... you name it.
with current online gamble sites no one can really know what odds they are getting, if odds are being rigged etc. (it's often said they let you win at first so you up your stakes and then they take it from you) and FunFair can solve this with smart contracts.
now you make ask your self "hey, why don't they just use ether for all this?" and this is where the actual platform comes in, FunFair isn't just a '
standard' that other online gambling sites can adopt, it's also a platform that lets you make your own casino with very little effort (I sorta see it as WordPress for casinos) and that casino will be easy to set and of course fair. FunFair is also launching their own casino which you can already try (multiple games with blockchain and test options) it already looks fine but it's of course not launched yet, you should see it as an early beta.
I see it that as first FunFair casinos will get launched everyone would likely be switching to them (or to those that adopt it, remember they can also do that) as they can guarantee fairness that others just can't. I basically see no reason for players to stay on casinos that won't use it as a standard.
another absolutely huge thing about FunFair is their team which is absolutely amazing, big names from both gambling casinos (head marketing of PokerStars and bwin, former International director of William Hill and founders and programmers from multiple online gambling sites)
now don't just take my word for it; go check their site, read about it, raise questions about it...
as an investor I feel like this has absolutely HUGE potential and it's still so unknown for most people in crypto. Basically with so much coins being completely useless or with no real use case at all this one is one of the few that actually does something amazing and the best part is that they really don't have any competition at all (unlike currency, privacy, smart contract, decentralised exchanges, fast transactions... coins)
their site:
https://funfair.io points I missed(edit): BioRito made another great point that I missed; The Casino doesn't get to hold, handle, or interact with your money in any way. The two parties make the bet and the results are handled through smart contracts: you lose, you pay up; you win, they pay up. Your funds stay in your wallet until you lose the bet.
This is a huge reduction in risk for users. You don't have to trust the gambling site (trust that they'll actually credit your account; or trust that you'll be able to withdraw the money in a timely fashion, or at all; or trust that the whole place won't go tits up and close their doors with your money still in it; or trust that the owner won't use the casino's funds to pay for his vacation and his mistress' apartment before bankrupting it; and so on).
Also input from
OriginalUnicornBoner: Another overlooked benefit of their blockchain model is that a player never has to "deposit" funds into the casino they are playing at. Unlike traditional online gambling where the player deposits fiat and receives "Chips" of value and then cashes out, FunFair casinos will be operated with the FUN token that the user is always in control of. No depositing/cashing out needed.
submitted by First of all I want to start out by saying that I don't think that anybody's out to get me, I'm a reasonable person and I don't believe in conspiracies but holy shit Pokerstars Casino has to be 100% rigged. I feel like an idiot even saying this but when you're standing on a 12 and the dealer is standing on 2 or 3, in over 80% of the situations you are dealt a 10.When dealer is standing on 6, you are often given a double down situation in which you brick and he doesn't break, like over 80% of the times. I've played on many online casinos for fun, I don't expect to be winning since you don't see the cards being dealt but MY GOD at least they should be a little more subtle about it.
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